Where am I in the progress of insight?

When I chose to work with a teacher who specializes somewhat in guiding people through path attainments, I wondered whether this would cause me to obsess about where I was along the path to stream entry. It has not so far caused me to obsess. In fact, it has helped me to relax.

I can see that my practice is progressing. It doesn't seem to matter whether a path attainment is near or far. Part of the reason it doesn't seem to matter is that, from reading people's meditation logs, I can see that path attainments are not milestones that bring a great incremental leap in happiness. The attainments seem to be interesting and pleasant, but the interest and pleasure are temporary, and soon one just has to keep working again. "After the ecstasy, the laundry." Even those who achieve 4th path under teachers such as Beth continue to practice in order to achieve even more freedom.

I love waking up. I see new freedom every few days, if not nearly every single day. I can't say that my life is especially happy right now -- work, in particular, is largely a struggle, and I worry a fair amount about aging, my health, my parents, and my relationship with Eric. Life is reasonably happy, I'd say. But waking up is quietly exciting, and is exactly what I want to be doing right now. My diligence in meditating an average of 1.5 hours daily is evidence of that.

As I mentioned in a previous entry, Beth thinks I'm in the 10th nana, Re-observation. Although there are circuits in my brain that do not want to believe I'm past the 4th nana, Arising and Passing Away, there is much evidence that I am past it. Before my retreat at the Forest Refuge, meditation brought me centeredness and relaxation. It no longer does. In the months after the retreat, I was sleeping less than usual, meditating in the middle of the night for hours, teaching people meditation, and having frequent insights during meditation. I also felt slightly manic and "special". These are all hallmarks of the A&P, from what I've read. Finally, in recent months, since I began noting practice, I've had a lot of discomfort during meditation, and have had heightened experiences of fear and sadness both on and off the cushion. I never had these kinds of negative experiences during meditation before the Forest Refuge, so it makes sense that they might be due to being in the dukkha nanas.

Still, I am curious what other teachers might say about where I am, teachers who don't, as far as I can see, think that path attainments can come as quickly and easily as Beth thinks they can. I wonder what Gil, Rodney, or Shaila would say.