Yesterday I saw Betsy, my physical therapist, about my knees, which have been feeling not right for several weeks. She had no specific diagnosis, but did say that joints like to move, and that seated meditation could possibly be counter to my knee health. She suggested occasionally extending my legs during meditation.
Awoke today with lots of anxiety. Wanted to doze, but preferred to meditate so as to (a) disembed from the anxiety, and (b) keep up the meditation momentum, after two days of little meditation.
6:15 a.m. First, 30 minutes seated meditation, occasionally spending some time extending and bending my legs continuously. Then, set timer to make a sound at 10 minute intervals, and did another hour where, for 10 minutes, I sat still, and for 10 minutes, I extended/bent my knees continuously. I resisted doing the leg motion; preferred sitting still. Meditation was unpleasant. There were emotional states that were unpleasant but I couldn't name them. Sleepiness included craving to sleep. Noted sleepiness, craving, aversion, rocking (I had a lot of head rocking the first 30 minutes), rubbing (legs rubbing), extending (legs), contact, breeze (breath), sadness, aversion, aversion, thinking, aversion (to noticing thinking), aversion (unknown trigger), hearing, craving (for session to be over), expanding (breathing), rocking, nausea (best word I could think of for unpleasant head/throat pulsings), aversion, sleepiness, craving, pulsing ...
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