Today I read Adyashanti's
The Way of Liberation. He proposes some topics of contemplation. Contemplation is not a usual part of my spiritual practice, but it appealed to me while reading about it in this book. I took some time to contemplate the following:
Suffering occurs when you believe in a thought that is at odds with what is, what was, or what may be.
I sat still, and whenever suffering occurred, I looked to see what thought might be behind the suffering. For many, but not all, instances of suffering, I found such a thought. I saw some thoughts I hadn't been aware of before:
If I do not regularly (multiple times per day) acquire something (a material good, tasty food, a new facet of my self image, knowledge, some pleasure, a significant chunk of money, the completion of a task ... the publication of a new blog post ...), I am wasting my life.
Underneath the busyness of life, including this practice of constant acquisition, I am completely, utterly alone with a desolation that is unspeakably unpleasant.
I also saw some thoughts that I had already discovered in the recent past:
This particular sensation (often some bodily tension) means that I am doing something wrong or that danger is on the horizon.
Awakening is far away. It certainly isn't happening right now. It requires a lot more strenuous effort and suffering than what I've already experienced.
If I made the right choices, I wouldn't suffer, and I doubt the choices I'm making in this moment are the right ones.
