A thought that plagues me every moment that I'm not either asleep or fully engaged in something is, "I'm doing the wrong thing". I've been countering that with the affirmation, "Everything I do and choose is motivated by self-love and inspired by inner wisdom." Today, though, I want to take a closer look at the notion that I may be doing the wrong thing. As I write this, a bit of resistance arises.
What is the rationale behind, "I'm doing the wrong thing"?
Well, the thought arises when I'm experiencing a contraction in the right side of my face, neck, and torso. This contraction is interpreted as, "I'm wrong, I need to be fixed."
If I am wrong and need to be fixed, then clearly, whatever I'm doing in the moment hasn't fixed me (yet).
What should I be doing? There is a fantasy that I could and should be doing every good thing. I should be healing the world, learning all the knowledge, creating all the beautiful things. As long as there is any suffering in the world, any imperfection, then I am at fault for not having fixed it. I need to fix those things and feel happy while doing so. If I'm trying to fix things, trying to do good in the world, and feeling unhappy (as has at times been the case for me) then that is also a problem that needs to be fixed.
So basically, unless I am a super super human, way way way beyond the abilities of any human who has ever lived on the planet -- I need to be fixed. Ha Ha Ha!
OK, so there are various ways I can approach this. I could see the contraction in the right face/neck/torso as just interesting sensation ... it can even be seen as pleasurable. But when I do so, a deeper fear arises ... I think it is the fear of aloneness, of not knowing who I am.
So "I'm wrong" and "I'm doing the wrong thing" are core pieces of my identity, and they will arise until I become more identified with, more at ease with, what's underneath.
