Today I am 52.5 years old!
Went to bed late last night after getting caffeinated on mint chip ice cream and chocolate chip cookies, and working hard to make our bedroom door work more quietly. Slept lightly; held notion that I was now in a state to experience pleasure easily; reached out to grasp pleasure and received it. Told a story that the "nothing to hold onto" experience of Friday was either stream entry or dropping into equanimity, and that now I have made it into the pleasure arena (subtext: permanently). Remembered that, wherever I am on the map, my job is to note pleasure dispassionately.
Awoke at 5 to "watch" Eric in the long quali at the World Orienteering Champs.
7:30 am 85 minutes seated noting. Quite unusual. Started with pleasure, excitement, excitement, excitement, pleasure, rocking, hearing, expanding, excitement, pleasure, excitement. Many sensations, hard to find names for them all. Wanted to penetrate the excitement, to disidentify with it. Eventually, excitement was noted less and less often, and yielded to sadness-sleepiness (almost always in that order), rocking (lots of head and torso rocking, not in rhythm), craving, craving, tingling, pleasure, craving, pressure, craving. Aversion to craving. Hunger. Wanted to end the session early and several times considered quitting, but chose to stick with it and look at the craving. It was tingling, pressure, sadness ... as I felt these things, the body rocked forward, and more bundles of difficult-to-name sensations came up. Eventually ended session 5 minutes early on pretext of needing to check email from a freecycler.
Now, after the session, still feel this excitement.
Spent the day making a salad, sitting at a festival booth, skyping Eric, and going to a garden party. The sense of excitement disappeared. Occasionally during the day I remembered to relax all my stories for 2 to 5 seconds. It's delightful!
6:30 pm 40 minutes seated noting ... but really, mostly dozing. At Janet's Sunday evening sitting group.
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