7:20am One hour seated noting. A lot of thinking. Almost nothing unpleasant; didn't once notice tension on right side of body. My view of my meditation experience is now colored by my conversation with Beth yesterday; thus, what I describe now, I would not have described in the same words 24 hours ago. When I sat to meditate, I immediately snapped into what I've casually been thinking of as "the meditative state". This is the same state I used to snap into during the late autumn when I'd awaken in the middle of the night. Maybe this is the A&P; Beth said that in "review stage A", according to Kenneth's understanding, one immediately is in the A&P upon beginning a sit. As I meditated, I was interested in how my experience matched the stages of insight. I didn't notice being in any dukkha nanas, but after maybe 10-20 minutes I was in the state which Beth said yesterday sounded like equanimity, where I was "solidly present within my experience". This state seemed fragile, though, and I felt like I faded in and out of that solid presence, and could reinforce the state by applying effort and diligently noting, then releasing, everything that came to my attention, especially thinking. No sleepiness, but frequent craving (for the session to be over, for further attainment) and aversion (to the tedium of my experience). Kicked legs for a while once during the sitting; no associated sadness this time. My thinking was mostly about the notion that I have attained stream entry, wondering what to tell people, and reviewing my experiences since the possible stream entry experience to see if something has indeed changed.
Told Z about possible stream entry experience. She was very interested and affirming. We went orienteering together. I felt euphoric and excited, but in the middle of the orienteering the excitement had become irritating. I soothed myself somewhat by noting the different aspects of the excitement, but I couldn't do it very well while orienteering.
3pm lay down for a nap. Began by noting. Except during late fall & early winter when I seemed to be in A&P, I generally find it impossible to keep good attention while lying down. This time I put in a lot of effort, but I still couldn't do it. Finally drifted off to sleep.
6:30 pm 40 minutes noting with sitting group at Janet's. Following above categorization, I started immediately in A&P, maybe was in the dukkha nanas for a minute or two during which I noted aversion to some physical sensations, then moved into equanimity at maybe the 10 minute point ... then, shifted into a slightly different zone where I felt a little less connected with sensory stimuli, somewhat secluded in a quieter interior world, still noting but occasionally not finding anything to note, and feeling a lot of pleasure, more pleasure than I've ever felt during noting practice since I started it a few months ago.
Shared news about possible stream entry with others at sitting group; it was just J and W and Z. J and W were attentive and interested but not noticeably impressed (J said, "I've experienced things like that."). This made sense and was expected, but still had the effect of dampening my confidence.
11pm 40 minutes noting before bed. I think the session began as my earlier sessions today began, with some time in A&P and some time in equanimity, but the second half of the meditation was filled with strong, continuous aversion. There was nothing in particular unpleasant that I could identify, yet I really wanted to quit meditating. This aversion was as strong or stronger than any aversion I'd felt during previous sessions of noting over the past few months. The aversion continued after I stopped meditating and lay down to sleep.
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