During sleep, awoke slightly from time to time and automatically meditated, automatically put my attention on phenomena. Sometimes had a sense of trying to shed the sense of self, but knowing that such an effort was unlikely to lead to my goal.
6:10 am 20 minutes seated noting. Again, although there were unpleasant sensations today, the meditation seemed crisp and easy, and I didn't want to stop. There was little or no aversion. Again, I noticed, and tried my best to note, bundles of sensation that I couldn't discern as being pleasant/unpleasant or physical/mental. They were emotion-like, but didn't match the common emotions. I used notes tingling, pressure, pulsing, and sometimes just a silent "mm" or "uh".
8:06 am 20 minutes noting on the bus. Similar to above, but with some pleasure.
Pleasure at work.
1:00 30 minutes noting with my work meditation group. Similar to morning session, but more, bigger, juicier sensations. They would start in my right kneecap with RLS-like tinglings: "tingling". Then a bundle of sensation: sadness, craving, pleasure, hunger, rocking (body would sway and rock), expanding (inhale). Then, increasingly, sexual pleasure in the genitals. Sleepiness seems to contain an element of craving; I think perhaps it always had, but previously I couldn't discern it. So past few days I've often noted "craving" instead of sleepiness.
Skype with Eric in Switzerland. He was feeling overwhelmed by work, and, as he described it to me in detail, I responded with a lot of very unpleasant tension, almost as though I were being personally attacked.
No comments:
Post a Comment