During the night, slept somewhat lightly and periodically, during times of semi-wakefulness, delightedly noticed disidentification with what my body was doing.
Didn't make time to meditate this morning, either.
An innocuous remark made by my housemate this morning sent me into feelings of sadness and anger, which shifted to panic and despair when I wondered whether to share these feelings with P, whom I was about to see: she is just close enough that I don't want to wear a mask always, but not close enough that I feel safe about sharing. Ended up off the hook; didn't need to spend time with P after all.
From then (7:30am) until now (10:12am) I have felt joyously sensitive to all around me: sights, sounds, smells ... emotions, as I talked to Eric over skype. Did noting practice on bus/walk to work. Usually when I noted pleasure, calm, or joy, I next noticed (and tried to note) fear, anxiety, or holding/tensing. I'm really afraid of joy! This flavor of joyous sensitivity is new in my adult life.
By end of work day I felt yukky and unhappy about work. Curious, because I had a reasonably productive work day.
5:45 20 minutes noting on bus
7pm Physical therapy session for knee. It was pleasant to have Betsy manipulate my body.
At home, read newspaper, did the Jumble puzzle with Mom on the phone, ate popcorn, read Facebook.
10pm 20 minutes noting in bed before sleep.
Knees hurt frequently during the night, more than ever before.
No comments:
Post a Comment