Doing bioinformatics work at Dad's house. I've learned a lot about work resistance: I've seen that every minute or so, I want to distract myself, and that if I don't, I notice unpleasant emotion. It's a desire to have completed my task, to not have to make effort to get it done. I don't like making the kind of effort that includes uncertainty and/or slowness.
Inner child: I feel deep longing, and sadness. I don't want to think about why the no-call count is only 17 while 20 alleles were observed. It will be hard to find out why the no-call count is only 17. I'm afraid that while I do that, I will lose memory of the context. I'm afraid of letting go of what is in my mind right now in order to go answer this question. There is a pulsing constriction in my right throat. It's not unpleasant. There is also activation in my right arm, as though I'm about to hit someone.
I don't like acknowledging how far I am from my goal.
