Very enjoyable morning: great session with Trip, tea and bagel in Maple Leaf (with attendant caffeine buzz), amazing physical therapy session with Betsy.
With Trip: talked about recent upsets related to speaking out & being called out for it. Quite intimate.
With Betsy: My current issue was a dull ache, on and off, in my right pelvis the past 5 or so days. Didn't think she'd be able to address this, since she usually works on muscles & skeletal system. Serendipitously, she had just taken a class on working with internal organs. She spent the entire session working with my small intestine, stomach, and liver. For quite some time, she massaged my spot, the spot in my lower right abdomen where I hold old trauma, the spot I once called Julia's Fire. She massaged it in just the way it wanted to be massaged; clearly she was in touch with it, more than any previous practitioner of any ilk had been. A very intimate and completely pleasurable experience. I'd told her about that spot years ago but she had completely forgotten about it, at least consciously. She rediscovered it simply through touch.
Now: Have been vaguely intending to break the habit of pushing myself at work after the point where a task has become effortful. I really hate the pushing and the resulting sense of depletion, but haven't been at all sure there is an alternative. Just now--with the aid of caffeine--noticed the moment when my current task became effortful. Realized within minutes, perhaps less than a minute, that I'd reached a place of stuckness that was likely to unstick itself if I just let the task rest for a while. Possibly minutes or hours, but for sure, waiting until morning would do the trick. With the aid of caffeine, had the confidence to let go of the task and move to another task well before I got into a negative thought cycle.
