7am 30 minutes silent+whispered noting. Shifted to whispering when it seemed I was getting lost in thought frequently. But it took great effort to begin to whisper, because of the pain of initiating that physical activity. And it took effort to continue. As the sitting progressed I found myself increasingly "solidly in the present", not reaching out for the next sensation, not anticipating the next sensation. When I am weary, this often leads to a dull sleepiness (different from fleeting sensations of sleepiness), but this morning it mostly did not.
8am 30 minutes noting during morning commute. I had good continuity and presence. I was seated next to two large, loud, boisterous middle aged men from a low social class. On my other side was a woman who intruded upon my space. I noted all of the sensations, but after a couple of minutes I noted terror, panic, overwhelm. I popped out of meditation for a while and just looked around, wondering whether it was kind to myself to continue, or whether it would be more kind to distract myself in some way. Ultimately I returned to noting and found myself noting fear frequently whenever the men spoke loudly or laughed (every second or two). This seemed to keep the terror and panic at bay, and I felt relatively comfortable continuing.
In recent days it has seemed to me that I am identifying less with my thoughts and am able to let go of them more easily.
11am 12 minutes seated noting with Julie
6:40 pm 40 minutes seated noting with the sangha, followed by an hour of quasi-meditation as I half listened to Rodney's talk.
10:50 pm 30 minutes seated noting in bed. I'd eaten popcorn and chocolate before bed, and this seemed to trigger feelings of shame associated with my belly. So I noted "shame" quite a lot, something I rarely note.
No comments:
Post a Comment