In the middle of the night I awoke and meditated lying down, as I used to do in December/January. It was easy to pay attention, and thinking was at a low level. I experienced a remarkable level of aversion. I had a lot of itching and RLS sensations, and any movement, sound, or smell coming from Eric beside me triggered aversion. I had never experienced this before. I wondered if this was an experience of disgust. I kept practicing and vaguely hoping that this phase would pass, but it did not. Eventually I decided to go back to sleep.
5:30 am 20 or 40 minutes noting. It was fairly unpleasant. The entire time I experienced sensations associated with an ongoing emotional interaction with Eric: anger, sadness, fear, aversion.
7:45 am Walking from car to office, noted joy a few times. This is the first time I've ever noted joy!
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