Monday, August 6, 2012

Meditation log 08/06/12

Noon. Read a dharmaoverground thread about how to call up fruitions. The experience of post-path fruition as described by Nikolai, "a sense of letting go, maybe tinged with dispassionate carefree attitude towards the phenomena that is shutting down," seemed remarkably apt for what I experienced two nights ago. I paused in my desk chair at work to see if I could call up fruitions. I thought maybe I could do this because my mind has been unusually ... something ... the past couple of days. Trip said this morning that there was a lot of light about me. I've been experiencing pleasure and equanimity in daily life. So I tried to call up fruitions. I inclined my mind toward the state of Knowledge of Equanimity, then relaxed my focus. I then experienced a kind of excitement, a little adrenaline rush and tingly feelings ... and then a tiny sense of dropping and of resolution, with a little bliss wave. (I am conscious of adopting language I've read on the dharma forums, such as "bliss wave".) Then this repeats with a cycle of maybe 10-15 seconds.

Feeling especially good, happy, positive. I've not felt "normal" since my retreat at the Forest Refuge almost a year ago, but I feel even more far from "normal" today than usual. It's mostly pleasant, but there's an element of excitement that's a little grating.

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