6:15 am 5 minutes walking noting. I had the strong fear/adrenaline sensations, and I thought walking might ease them better than sitting. It didn't. But this was the first time I'd done slow walking practice since I began diligent noting, and I found that I was able to focus on sensations and notice the components of sensations as effectively, or almost as effectively, as when sitting.
6:20 30 minutes seated noting. Eventually, the fear sensations lost their solidity and I experienced an exquisite and somewhat new combination of hearing, craving, rocking, pulsing, pleasure, release, pressure, sadness, sleepiness. The usual notes, I suppose, but I seemed to perceive my experience with a bit more detail and depth. Again, I loved being there and didn't want to stop.
I noticed something that I'd noticed at the Forest Refuge, but hadn't noticed very clearly since: after pleasure, I can have the thought, "What did I do wrong?"
Questions for Beth today:
How might I practice on retreat?
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