8am one hour seated noting, mostly the inquiring noting. As soon as I sat down, I snapped into focused attention. Eric had prepared me some delicious broth for breakfast, and I wanted to consume it while it was hot, so at about the 20 minute mark I drank the broth he had placed before me 5 minutes earlier. I tried to note "sipping, warmth, tasting, tingling, smelling, enjoyment, swallowing." I find that the pleasure of tasty food is experienced quite differently from the pleasure of sights, sounds, and smells, and I could not pinpoint where in the body this pleasure was located. Toward the end of the session the sensations in the right side were really strong and I felt anguished. I felt a strong urge (has happened many times before) for my body to curl downward toward the right, along with a sense that no matter how far my body fell, the craving would not be satisfied. I wearied of noting "pulsing, craving, hunger, yearning, tension, craving," so I tried to notice sensation faster, on a finer level, beneath emotion:. In order to do this I had to stop noting with words so much. This was partially successful in relieving the anguish. I felt a great sadness upon the end of the session, as I did yesterday morning, as though I was needing to leave some great comfort.
I am curious what is going on in the brain and the mind during this interplay of insight practice and trauma recovery.
5:30 pm 15 minutes seated noting
6:30 pm -- potluck with neighborhood kalyana mitta group. I haven't attended this particular group in a few months. Talked with J about our practices and what meditation feels like now. Sounds like her practice has been powerful.
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