5:30 am 60 minutes seated noting. I had awoken with a lot of fear. Fear and sadness stayed predominant for most of the sitting, but finally settled away. The fear and sadness felt like a gloomy mood rather than brief experiences. There were also poignant feeling brief sensations of pleasure throughout. The right-side sensations were not noticeable, except for clenching of the jaw, which I periodically released. Towards the middle I felt a strong pull to the right. I yielded to the pull and danced with it, first rocking down to the right, then straightening the torso back upward, then swaying somewhat. My approach was influenced by Rodney's talk on faith last night, where he mentioned allowing wonder. As soon as I awoke, I tried to avoid planning and preconception.
Got car into a fix while parking. Felt fear and panic, which I tried to modulate. Called for help from others and received it.
Throughout work day, periodically checked in with myself, felt what I felt, asked if it was true that I needed to get back to work. Such strong craving to "get things done", and shame that I'm so hooked by it.
Stayed at work until 9:00 pm. Read Byron Katie and did a bit of what she calls The Work: questioning judgmental thoughts that cause me suffering, and turning them around. Resulted in both relaxation and anxiety.
Talked to Z for an hour before bed.
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