Thursday, June 28, 2012

Meditation log 06/28/12

4am Awoke slightly with some image in mind that somehow made me think, somewhat excitedly and greedily, "Maybe I'm moving into the stage of the progress of insight called "disgust". I felt alert and meditated while lying down for maybe 30 or 40 minutes. However, my attention was not nearly as good as when I am seated, and the entire time I felt like I was trying to make my observations fit the category of "disgust". Finally I assessed that this was likely unproductive and went back to sleep.

7:15 am  15 minutes seated noting. Everything I noted was either neutral or slightly unpleasant. No fear, sadness, or disgust. A fair amount of calm (not noted) and empty/void (didn't note that, either). I noted "selfing" a lot, whenever I noticed a movement of the mind. Noting "selfing" heads off some suffering, and I saw that I wanted to note "selfing" whenever I saw the beginnings of suffering. Suffering was usually in reaction to tensions in the right side of the body, noticing that my posture was slumped, or a thought about the future. Nothing in the session suggests that I am in "disgust".

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