Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Meditation log 06/13/12

7:00 a.m. 30 minute sit in bed. Silent/mouthed/whispered noting. Some sadness, some joy.

8:30 a.m. 20 minutes noting during bus ride. Sadness + joy. Remarkable, unbelievable to note joy.

3:30 pm  15 minutes noting in the quiet room at work. Thinking, sleepiness.

Eric picked me up from work. This was happy. But I flinched whenever he touched me. During most of our relationship, when I was touched, I'd often flinch inside, but I'd suck up the unpleasantness and behave in a welcoming manner. Lately I've not wanted to do that. And I didn't do it today. This put Eric into a funk, which made me scared. We spent about an hour organizing his papers.

9:20 pm  35 minutes seated noting. Excruciating. At first, a lot of aversion regarding stuck tension in right torso. Anger, sadness. Sleepiness. Every minute or so, saliva would collect at the left corner of my mouth, and I'd need to lick it off, and this triggered sadness and anger. Then the RLS started up. I shifted my attention to the RLS sensations in order to stave off the unbearable jerkiness, but I was sleepy and my attention wasn't sharp. I intended to go for another 15 minutes, but I quit.

Ate chocolate covered marzipan!

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