7:20 am 45 minutes seated noting. I found this enjoyable and didn't want to stop. Toward the first half I often noticed a kind of grasping that I called "selfing". I noted this about every second note and thought, "This grasping is always there, does it make sense to note it?" When I noted it, it disappeared for a second or two, which felt unfamiliar, and I felt uncertain about it. During the second half I noticed that the grasping/selfing had almost ceased.
11:15 am Driving to work, noticed an unpleasant holding of emotion in the right throat and upper chest, and an associated mood of dread. Tried letting go of the holding. It often isn't possible to just let go, but today it was. I then found myself in a state I thought of as empty or void, where a certain kind of suffering was absent but pleasant stimulation was also absent, and I felt uneasy about that absence. This state was similar to the absence of selfing in this morning's sit.
1pm Sitting at my desk at work watching pulsations and allowing involuntary rocking and swaying in the body. Noticing old urges to react or suppress. Noticing fear that it's not OK to watch and allow these things. Not noting in the formal sense.
5pm One hour seated noting. So much sleepiness!
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