6:15 a.m. One hour faintly whispered noting, about 1x/second, sometimes slower. Almost nothing unpleasant was noted. Very little desire to quit. Occasional thinking. Usually when I notice thinking, my immediate response is to note something that's not thinking. Then I notice what's happened, and note, "noticing" or "remembering". Today's notes: expanding, releasing, hearing, pressure, tingling, contact.
A couple of times in the middle of meditation I blew my nose or checked my clock. I tried to note during these actions: intending, lifting, reaching ... These actions are unpleasant. There is resistance to doing them. I note resistance, anxiety, tension, sadness.
Continued noting through ablutions, yoga. Again through commute. While walking, my attention was more centered than usual; I gently refrained from looking about and was more aware of sensations in my body. When I arrived at work, the habit of mindfulness persisted; I was inclined to walk slowly and awarely, in the way that I was inclined when I came back from my 2 month retreat.
3:40 p.m. Sat in the quiet room at work for an hour's meditation, but only lasted ten minutes. Noted sleepiness a lot, then finally lay down for a delicious 90 minute nap that left me really refreshed.
Diligent noting during walk to bus and on the bus ride home. Then Eric, Zarina, and I drove to the Museum of History and Industry for their free farewell open-house. The Montlake location closes permanently after tomorrow.
9:30 p.m. 41 minutes seated silent noting. Vocal noting caused me to cough. An hour earlier I'd had an experience that caused me to feel upset, a restimulation of having been scolded as a child for making a mistake. This experience caused a tightness in my chest that persisted during the meditation and was unpleasant. About 5 minutes into the meditation I took a 5-minute time-out during which, instead of noting, I placed my attention upon the tension and tried to feel into the sadness, fear, or anger that was underneath. This was partially successful. Most of what I noted was neutral, except for the chest tension. Expansion, pressure, tension, aversion, hearing, contact, thinking (a fair amount of thinking which increased over the session). The last 8 or so minutes of the session I shifted my attention entirely to the unpleasantly tingly sensations of Restless Legs Syndrome. The unbearable part of RLS is when the tingly sensations reach an excruciating crescendo that causes semi-involuntary leg jerks. But if I focus my attention on the sensations, the crescendo does not feel excruciating and does not cause the jerks.
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