7am 50 minutes seated whispered noting. I seem to be in the same nana as the last few days: very good attention, little suffering, don't get lost in thought too much. Hearing, pulsing, expanding, releasing, thinking, fear, sadness, sleepiness, swallowing, aching, pleasure, noting. Mom spoke to me several times, asking me where Dad is.
The past three days spent with Eric in the Bay Area, largely looking after Mom, were overall happy and satisfying. I was pleased with the patience I had with Mom. Late Sunday night I was up with her for 90 minutes, responding to a continuous stream of repetitive questions and accusations. Was not too hard.
It was both startling and amusing to watch Mom behave in ways similar to how I behave when I am upset. Demands, accusations ... an attempt to regain sense of control RIGHT NOW ... attaching story to anger ... a story with a fragment of truth (Dad doesn't love her or care about her) ... but making use of that truth in a very crude and unproductive manner. Using the crude power of threats and repeated pestering to make SOMETHING happen.
10:30 pm 25 minutes noting on the airplane back to Seattle.
No comments:
Post a Comment