Log 10/09/12

6:00 a.m. One hour seated noting. I wondered whether I'd be in the A&P again. Once the meditation started, my thought was, "I'm not sure, and I don't want to think about it." Yesterday it was easy to make the call "A&P" because I didn't expect A&P and I could see what it was immediately. But today, because I expected A&P, I thought my call could be influenced by my expectation. Thus, far less certainty. But, I did feel somewhat locked into meditation (something I associate with A&P) and I felt quite present and in contact with perceptions. Meditation was pretty easy. Thinking was at a low level. Sensations were mostly neutral, but sometimes pleasant (including full-body pleasure) and sometimes unpleasant (physical pain, plus short cycles of sadness/sleepiness/other). The unpleasant didn't happen until the second half of the sitting. No insights.

8:15 a.m. 15 minutes seated noting on the bus.

Post-retreat, life feels energized and mostly pleasant. I have the sense that something is happening. Much visual pleasure. People have remarked on my equanimous response to my car getting totalled 9 days ago. This response doesn't seem unusual to me--it seems in line with how I've responded to loss of property in the past. I've been enjoying my work, feeling confident about it, and not getting keyed up during the work day. Impossible to know how much of this is post-retreat afterglow, how much is attributable to the stage I'm in along the progress of insight, and how much is a permanent change due to emotional & spiritual maturation. Oh! and how much is due to the absolutely extraordinary warm and sunny early fall weather.

If I were to guess what stage I'm in ... sheesh. I don't know. Post-2nd-path review? 3rd path A&P?

Considering moving my meditation log to the Kenneth Folk Dharma website so that it will be visible to others on this path.

2pm 30 minutes seated noting in quiet room at work. Can't remember anything about it. But it didn't feel like A&P.

6:30 pm 45 minutes seated noting while waiting for E to visit. I did enter the state that Trip calls "parasympathetic restorative", where it feels difficult to emerge. Except that emerging is a lot easier when I am meditating alone, as I was today. Mostly what tends to be difficult is immediately entering social interaction mode. After this sitting, I interacted with others just a minute or two later, but that was more than enough transition time.