A few years ago I started noticing difficulty acknowledging my accomplishments. At the end of the work day, no matter how many tasks I'd accomplished, I'd look at the list and think, "well, that's not really anything special, that's not really enough." And then a couple years ago I started noticing a similar sense of denial upon finding an orienteering marker.
So I started taking a closer look about a week ago. Stopped myself short of trying to combat the denial with cheerleading ("Look, you've really accomplished a lot!") and just felt the denial, the discomfort, the blockage. It, too, is terror! I look at my accomplishments, and I start to tense up in the right torso. And when I "feel into" that tension, let it unwind ... I have a mental impression of a "grown-up" standing above me and to the right, shaking her finger at me and scolding me, using the word "you" a lot.
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