5:40 am Awoke to Eric's 5:30 alarm. Negative mind-states predominated, as they usually do upon waking. But I felt particularly negative due to being somewhat sick. Decided to meditate for an hour, starting with as much metta as I desired. Ended up doing a full hour of self-metta, intending to relax into the feeling of metta (instead of forcefully directing my attention back to metta whenever it wandered).
Decided to stay home from work. Worked at the computer in the morning.
9:30 am After reading Ron Crouch's brief explanation of mahamudra noting (see middle of page), I tried it again while sitting at my computer. By uncomplicating it, I found that I could quickly (within a second) reach a positive mind state by gently and simply inclining the mind to listen for the ships in the harbor.
Two hour nap, eating, reading, more computer activities while sitting next to Eric. Acute agitation as I observed Eric continue to work past the time he needed to depart in order to be on time for his psychotherapy session.
3:30 pm One hour faintly whispered noting while sitting in the sun on the back deck. No intense unpleasantness or aversion. Also, as usual, very little pleasantness. Again, tried to be relaxed, and seemed to succeed. At first, noted only once per breath. But I wished to note more frequently. Found that if I noted with a very faint whisper (rather than a strong whisper or using voice) it was not a strain to note more frequently. So I did note more frequently. Frequent notes were hearing (lots), pulsing, expanding (upon in-breath), breeze, coolness, warmth, craving, tension, contact. Most of the time I could hear a helicopter a few miles away. I thought it had to do with the two fatal shootings that took place in Seattle this morning, and noticed (but didn't know how to note) attachment to the excitement of that. I also noticed a pervasive mental attitude of dreariness that seemed to have to do with the hazy skies, constant traffic and helicopter sounds, and the fact that it was mid-day, and sometimes noted "dreariness". Occasional planning. Near-constant low-level craving for the hour to be over, although that diminished towards the end. Also towards the end, frequent, brief episodes of sleep/dream, immediately followed by visual patterns (fine, wavy dark/light grid).
Experienced extraordinary well-being the remainder of the day. At ease, positive, non-reactive, productive, not sad, not angry, not afraid. No sense of dreariness.
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