Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Meditation log 05/23/12

(I have been meditating 45-120 minutes/day even though not logging.)

8:30 a.m.  15 minutes vocal noting while walking

1:40 pm 18 minutes self metta followed by 42 minutes silent noting. Felt drowsy towards end of metta, then someone entered the room noisily. I saw it was a person in a wheelchair and I helped them get settled. I was then less drowsy. My awareness was dominated by the sensations in my right torso and throat, which were accompanied by anguish and aversion. At first I didn't note the anguish and aversion much, but then I realized this was because I was judging them as unacceptable. Then I noted them a lot more. I found that when I kept up with anguish/aversion, meaning when I noted them as often as I was aware of them, they became less unpleasant and I became aware that they were not (and probably had not ever been, during this sit) in my awareness 100% of the time.

Afterward: very irritable and anger-prone at noises. Ate a bag of chocolate chip cookies.

6:15 pm  Was more cheerful than usual. Chatted with John, my bus driver. In recent weeks I have usually felt grouchy on my commute home and haven't felt like chatting with John, even though I like him a lot and enjoyed chatting with him in the winter. So it was notable that I felt up and chatty today.

9:15 pm 20 minutes anapanasati meditation, just because I felt like remembering what this practice is like. Then, set timer for 1 hour of noting, but quit after 7 minutes. It was really uncomfortable, especially restless legs. I seem to be able to sit through every discomfort except restless legs.

10 pm I was in bed reading and Eric came home. Powerful irritation came up and I left our bed to go sleep in the attic.

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