1pm 30 min. silent noting. Noticed and noted aversion, craving, anguish, unpleasantness related to right torso sensations. Noticed that I tend to avoid noting these things, afraid I'll get lost in them. Sleepiness. Drifted into sleep-like state a few times. Once or a few times, experienced some release in connection to noticing the aversion. Once, for a brief second noticed smell of urine--memory? A few times, felt I was in a state that was timeless, more selfless than usual, and lost/void/empty--a state I've experienced many times in recent months/years--a state I've not known quite how to name, what to think of. A state where I'm not holding onto anything, not pleasant or unpleasant, kind of a lack of experience. Did not (and still do not) want to emerge from meditation and return to people-interaction and work.
4:30pm -- 25 minutes seated vocal meditation. About half of my notes were pressure, aversion, constriction, pulsing, unpleasant ... having to do with right-side sensations. Also, some sadness. And craving ... for the session to be over.
"A few times, felt I was in a state that was timeless, more selfless than usual, and lost/void/empty--a state I've experienced many times in recent months/years--a state I've not known quite how to name, what to think of. A state where I'm not holding onto anything, not pleasant or unpleasant, kind of a lack of experience." This description doesn't sound familiar today, 3 months later--I can't remember it and it seems I haven't experienced it in many weeks.
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