3:00 am Awoke spontaneously. Concentration seemed good so I sat up in bed for about an hour of silent noting. Noted with words 3-4 phenomena per second; wordlessly noted more in between. This is as fast or faster than I remember ever noting before. Lapses in mindfulness were few and brief. Aware mostly of unpleasant stuff -- sensations in right throat/torso, tingling in the knees -- but unpleasantness subsided toward the end. Nevertheless, toward end I periodically had strong urges to quit, so I set timer for 20 minutes so I didn't have to decide when to actually quit. Notes included aversion, fear, craving (to quit), pressure, tingling, pain (only occasionally), pulling (for in-breath), relaxing (for out breath). Several times I noted muscular tension and the desire to stretch. I allowed myself to stretch, but very slowly, so I could note the whole process. Throughout the process, noted strong and increasing craving to relieve the tension quickly. Thoughts arose periodically, occasionally followed by excitement (if the thought was, "this is going well, maybe I'm progressing"), most often followed by fear (if the thought was a memory or anticipation of the future). I had the sense of gaining new understanding of my mental processes. Seeing in such detail the arising of fear and aversion, it seemed even more clear to me why my everyday life has such background dukkha.
During meditations such as this when unpleasantness and aversion strongly dominate, I am able to persist because unpleasantness/aversion are much easier to tolerate during meditation than during daily life. The mind has no task other than to notice what arises, so it spins very few, if any, stories to magnify the unpleasantness. Also, during meditation one doesn't have the burden of trying to be a pleasant person and accomplish useful tasks.
Upon rising at 7am, started an argument with my partner. Felt down, vulnerable more than I usually do in the morning through at least 10am.
7:15 30 minutes vocal noting while running the Northwest Trail Runs race at Ravenna Park. This was the second half of my 8.2k run. The first half, I was looking after 8-year-old Emmett, and didn't have attention for much noting. A lot of pleasant visual and aural stimuli. Only occasionally did I note anything unpleasant. Toward the end I occasionally noted a craving for the pizza that I knew was waiting for me at the finish.
9:30 pm About 40 minutes seated meditation with noting. Can't remember if it was silent or vocal. Used earplugs because partner was in process of coming home, which, for emotional reasons, I found extremely distracting. Meant to do only 30 minutes but didn't hear the timer because of the earplugs. Then went to sleep.
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