7am 80 minutes seated noting. Lots of thinking about r'ship with Eric. A curious mix of mental anguish (shame, craving, clinging, thinking, fear, sadness) and exquisitely pleasurable sensory experience (hearing, feeling).
Afterward, tried to get something from Eric: love? acknowledgement? I want him to agree with my point of view about his life. I felt despairing that, as he claimed, I cannot meet him with gentleness.
10am 30 minutes noting on bus. Similar experience to 7am sit.
1pm 30 minutes seated noting with meditation group at work. Strong desire to keep meditating; aversion to the end of the session (as I've been experiencing for weeks when meditating with others at work).
10:30 pm 10 minutes seated noting before going to sleep.
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