Friday, June 7, 2013

Log 06/04/13

10:57 a.m. Looking into my experience this moment: predominant sense is "I don't know what I'm doing; I don't know what's happening." I hope this is a good thing.

11:11 I'm doing the wrong thing! I don't know what to do! Really!!! Meanwhile, I'm wasting my life! Being with this. Sadness, sleepiness.

11:27 A moment of overwhelm in my work ... a wave of sadness ... an immediate reaction: "this is really dangerous; I have to pull out of this feeling or it will drown me (I will be unable to work)." Staying with it ... sleepiness quivering desire longing despair ...

11:39 Again.

12:31 Hypothesis via self observation: the sadness is a response to self-criticism.

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