Log 06/30/13

After an enjoyable warm summer day orienteering and taking Eric to the airport, I went home feeling quite gloomy about being alone. Did 2 sessions of inner work. Felt gloomy throughout, and doubtful, but persisted, telling myself that it's OK to be with myself even if it feels dark. Something a bit new: I felt the familiar craving in the right jaw, and tried biting down on a rawhide dog chew. (I'd bought the chew for just this purpose a couple of weeks ago.) New sensations of pleasure and desire arose in the right tongue, along with nausea, gagging, and choking. The sensations in the tongue seemed to trigger or engender mild sexual feelings in the right abdomen and vulva. I gnawed on the rawhide but felt no satisfaction. The desire felt endless and futile.