A comparison of Vipassana noting practice and the inner child / trauma recovery work I've been doing

In recent weeks I've been meditating very little. I spend between 30 and 90 minutes on a typical day (much more on the occasional weekend day) doing some kind of seated mindfulness, but usually it is inner child / trauma recovery work. Often I sit with the intention of doing such work. Other times, I sit with the intention to meditate, but the other work calls to me.

I've been participating in a 2-month "Life Retreat" with Kenneth Folk and Beth Resnick-Folk. I meet individually with one of them once a week, and meet with a small group once a week. I've felt uneasy on this retreat because I've been meditating so little. Beth and Kenneth have encouraged me to do the inner work I've been doing, but the superego messages to "follow the program" have been strong as usual, resulting in this uneasiness. Partly to ease this conflict, and partly because I think this will be useful to me and others--and partly because I told Kenneth I was interested in this--I put together a comparison of my two practices in a chart below. At the bottom of the chart, the ultimate goal is stated differently for each practice, but essentially they share the same ultimate goal: freedom.

All of the teachings I've received have recommended keeping one's meditation practice separate from one's psychological work. Partly, I think this is good, practical advice, especially if one is aiming for path attainments. We know that pure, diligent noting works. There is hearsay that those who dilute their Vipassana practice with psychological meanderings are less likely to attain stream entry. But I think the advice to keep the two practices separate is partly because we don't have a lot of experience with melding the two. Modern psychology is a very recent invention.

Here are some questions:

• Do I pass through the nanas (stages of insight) while doing a session of inner child / trauma recovery work?
• Does insight into the three characteristics arise during inner child / trauma recovery work?
• In my daily life, am I oscillating between the dukkha nanas and equanimity, and would this account for mood changes? Sometimes I feel very dark, and other times I feel equanimous. Such moods last for at least a few hours.

 

	Noting	Inner Child / Trauma Recovery Work
Basic activity	Concentrated mindfulness of whatever arises.	Concentrated mindfulness of whatever arises, preferring emotional states.
Sensation	Note	Ignore sensations that are not associated with emotion
Emotional state	Note, then let go of, state	Linger with state, but without clinging. Move with it, extend it compassion, talk to child ("I see you are afraid") and listen for response, etc. Look for next state.
Planning thought, or story about present time	Note and let go of thought	Let go of thought; look for feeling that underlies thought
Superego messages ("this is a waste of time", "this is dangerous")	Note and let go of thought	Extend compassion to child and dialog: "I see you feel very scared. What feels dangerous? What might happen?"
Old stories ("someone is about to attack me", "I am alone")	Usually these do not come up	Listen to story, be mindful of resulting state and/or dialogue with child
Image	Note and let go of image	Direct attention to any feeling triggered by image
Posture	Upright	Collapsed forward and supported by large cushion in front of torso
Motion	Relaxed pulsing and rocking with breath	Can choose to sway, rock, or make gross motions with limbs (pushing, etc.) if such motion seems to follow an urge or allow a holding to relax
Insights	"Oh, the mind works like this!"	"Oh, this emotion which previously felt heavy and embarrassing is simply a natural consequence of something that was previously hidden but is now visible to me!"
Purpose	Notice the three characteristics: anicca, anatta, dukkha	Fully experience repressed emotional states
Ultimate goal	Cut through the illusion of self	Allow the experience of core emptiness