Noon. Feeling agitated. Listened all morning (while traveling to ortho appt., then traveling to work) to an audiobook about a parent's struggle with his son's meth addiction. Very engaging but also very disturbing. It illustrates the agonizing complexity of dealing with some social situations. It made me think of R and also of my parents and their struggle with Mom's dementia. Perhaps as a result, I chose to phone Dad when I arrived at work at 10:15. (Yesterday he'd made a unilateral decision not to obtain further caregiving for Mom.) I was much more heavy-handed in this conversation than I was in our conversation one week ago. This was deliberate, but I arrived at this approach because I couldn't think of a way to apply the Socratic method I'd applied last week (or was lazy about trying). I thought it might be appropriate to, at least occasionally, communicate clearly and firmly that this is a serious situation and that Nick and I are not simply supporters and advisors--that, when necessary, we are prepared to insist he take a particular course of action.
Now, at noon, I have yet to delve into my work. The feelings I have are fear, sadness ... and fear. Fear.
Let's see if I can get into it.
1:18 Spent 40 minutes on the phone with Clarence and Mary discussing Mom & Dad's situation.
Next day: Stayed at work until 6:10. Was not as aware of my feelings as I had been the day before. Was not aware of desire. Distracted self (with email, Facebook) more than yesterday. Work was fairly engaging, though.
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