Why I feel more dedicated to practice than before retreat

I am trying to figure out why, after a very difficult and at times very unpleasant two months, I am inspired to be more dedicated to practice. Is it simply, as Eric quipped, something like the Stockholm Syndrome, where I developed an affinity for the thing that caused me discomfort?

I don't think so. But some of my motivation may be unwholesome, and I should face that squarely.

Contained within the unpleasant overall retreat experience were some very pleasant episodes, experiences of bliss and rapture. Now, after retreat, I have not felt what I'd call bliss or rapture, but I have found ordinary life to be unusually pleasant. Sometimes, just looking at a cloud, or the moon, or a tree, adds pleasure to the act of breathing. Meditation now routinely brings pleasant physical sensations whereas before it did not. So one draw is pleasure. This is not necessarily an unwholesome motivation, but it's worth being aware of.

I sometimes see people's facial expressions in greater detail than before retreat, and they seem more human and kind to me.

I can be entertained by watching my morning oatmeal cook.

I can let emotions pass through me quickly and easily in a way that previously was totally unfamiliar to me.

It made me very happy on retreat to be able to see certain thought processes very clearly, to see how they caused me suffering, and to be able to interrupt them. I like to see the truth of things. I don't see those processes in that detail anymore, but it's quite possible that I've created new habits of interrupting them and that these new habits are contributing to a happier life now.

So ... it's quite possible that all of the above effects are temporary, part of what I call retreat afterglow. I've never seen afterglow last longer than 6 weeks, and I've never experienced such intense effects, but then I've never before done a retreat longer than 2 weeks. What if these effects go away? Will I continue to be motivated to practice intensively, and, if so, what will motivate me?

I've been a seeker of truth ever since I can remember, since I was a young child. I first sought truth in Catholicism, with which I'd been raised. I so wanted to see truth there, and I kept looking and asking questions, but by age 18 I was completely disillusioned. It seems, though, that there is some truth to be found by following the Buddhist path, and I saw evidence of that on my retreat. Or ... I think I did. Hmmm. More pondering to be done here.