Terry: "Since my retreat, I've felt like my head is in some kind of magnetic field or vortex that draws it forward and down. It takes constant muscular effort to keep it upright."
Eric: "The center of your head is in front of your neck, so it takes effort to keep it upright. You just weren't mindful enough to notice the effort before."
Minutes after this exchange, I broke into laughter. What I had been interpreting as a mysterious, mystical force field has had a name for hundreds of years: gravity.
I've been reading a lot of Buddhist literature lately. Catching up. Two or three writers have mentioned that, as a meditation practice develops, one's sensitivity increases. I realized today that this explains a few things for me. Besides the weird head phenomenon, I also am newly aware that I clench my jaw (on the right side only). I'm also aware of a whole set of sensations and reactions on the right side of my body that seem to be ready to respond to a blow from the upper right. And I notice myself responding with fright and anger whenever anybody enters the house, or when Eric enters our bed.
I think these are good things.
Now I'm not so sure that the head phenomenon is completely explained by an increased sensitivity to the effect of gravity. Because sometimes I feel my head to be buoyant such that I need to make effort to keep my chin from sticking up, and sometimes I feel my head to balance on my neck with very little effort.
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