Daily life on retreat

Daily life at the Forest Refuge was much like daily life at any meditation retreat conducted at a Western retreat center in the Theravadan Buddhist tradition. For those who have never done such a retreat, I will describe a typical day.

The retreat center was a cluster of buildings surrounded by forest in rural Western Massachusetts (marker A below):

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Our lives centered around the meditation hall, dining hall, and dormitory, and a council house containing a library, yoga room, and rooms for teacher interviews. Also on site were an administration building, kitchen, staff area, maintenance barn, parking barn, and staff housing. Each of the 30 retreatants had a simple but very comfortable bedroom. Bathrooms and showers were shared.

The day officially began at 4:00 a.m. At many retreat centers there is a wake-up bell, but not at the Forest Refuge, probably because the Forest Refuge is primarily a place for self-guided retreats. This was a special organized, teacher-led retreat, but we still did not have a wake-up bell.

There were six sittings (meditation sessions) scheduled each day, each lasting 75 or 90 minutes. They were scheduled at 4:30 a.m., 7:45, 9:45, 1:00, 3:15, and 7:00. All were optional, and at a typical sitting about half of the retreatants would be there. Most of the others were presumably meditating in their rooms--or, during the 4:30 a.m. sit, sleeping in. During a sitting, people could gather in the meditation hall, sit on a cushion or chair, and meditate. Leaving in the middle was discouraged. Our main teacher, Pa Auk Sayadaw, sat with us at nearly every sitting, in the front of the hall, facing the Buddha statue. Sayadaw had a clock, and he would rise at the end, signaling to all that the session was over.

Breakfast was at 6:00. By retreat's end, it was still completely dark at that time. Breakfast was always the same: a buffet of various hot and cold cereals, breads, and fruits, along with butter, cream cheese, peanut butter, tahini, yogurt, raisins, and other toppings and condiments. And hard boiled eggs, and warm prunes. Warm prunes have been served at every meditation retreat I've attended. Presumably this is because sitting so much every day can slow peristalsis. Sorry if that's too much information.

Silence was continuous, including at meals. The idea is to be constantly aware of what is going on in one's immediate experience. So while eating, one pays attention to eating, or to one's meditation object, commonly the breath. My first day, I sat at an arbitrary table with some other people. A middle-aged Caucasian woman sat to my left, and a younger Afro-Caucasian man dressed completely in white sat to my right. Across from me was an old Asian man, and to the side was a young Caucasian woman with an angelic face. It turned out that these people sat in these same places for every meal, and I ended up sitting in the same place for nearly every meal, also--except for a couple of weeks when I chose to tour other tables during breakfast in order to spend time with some other people and offer them metta (good wishes).

Everyone had an assigned chore, and most of them were done right after breakfast. Mine was pot washing, which happened after lunch, so after breakfast I had a free hour. I did different things during this hour, but most commonly I went to my room and meditated until lunch. During much of the retreat I meditated almost exclusively outside the meditation hall--either in my room, in the library, outdoors, or in one of the walking meditation halls--because I would often get sleepy during seated meditation. When I got sleepy I would want to take a nap or switch to walking meditation immediately, but this was not possible when sitting in the meditation hall.

During my most intensive periods of practice, I would meditate in my room for over three hours straight. I'd sit until I'd get sleepy, then I'd walk, take a short power nap, or take a long nap, then go back to sitting again. Later in the retreat, I took mindful forest walks after breakfast, walking slowly on the trails while trying to maintain continuous attention on the sensations in my body. (or as continuous as I could muster--as every meditator knows, the reality is often very far from the ideal!)

The remaining activities of the day were lunch at 11:00, potwashing at 11:45, teacher interviews between 5:00 and 6:30, and bedtime. In keeping with monastic tradition, there was no evening meal. Lunch was two or three delicious vegetarian dishes plus a salad bar. Immediately afterward I went to the kitchen to wash everything that couldn't go in the dishwasher. Three of us worked together and it usually took a little over an hour. Pot washing was a highlight of my day, because it was very physical and not associated with any anxiety. It was also slightly social, even though we didn't speak except when necessary ("This pot needs a little more scrubbing on the bottom", "Do you know where the butter dishes get put away?"). At the end we did a little bowing ritual during which we'd each make eye contact with each other. This was the only eye contact we'd have all day except when talking to the teacher--"silence" includes keeping one's eyes downcast when passing another person. Kind of extreme!

Although we had no evening meal, hunger was never a problem for me. Firstly, I kept nuts, raisins, and later in the retreat, chocolate in my room, and had a small snack almost every day. Secondly, although the retreat was often stressful, somehow the stress was not the kind that prompts me to crave food. I guess my body adjusted to the two meals. The only time I felt hunger in a distracting way was at the early morning sitting. I learned to have a small snack upon rising if I was going to attend that sit.

At 5:00 daily, except Sundays, we had an opportunity to talk to Pa Auk Sayadaw. These interviews were always brief--between 2 and 10 minutes. For me they were always much closer to 2 minutes. This was because I was making no progress under his system, and also because he just didn't feel very chatty with me (to my surprise I learned after the retreat that he would get chatty with some retreatants).

Bedtime was always welcome to me, because the days were so often filled with anxiety. My bed was very comfortable and I almost always slept well. I had a skylight through which I could often see stars.

There are so many other details I would like to fill in, but this post is long enough, and I am tired. As always, feel free to ask questions!