A short break from work

feeling from not following FB urge too big didn't know what it wanted was distracting
muscle near right scapula was hurting as it so often does
went outside sunny day to park
feeling at first seemed impenetrable
couldn't tell what it wanted
then halfway down block my body wanted to curl over a bit
fists, esp. right
walking big and strong lifting knees a bit
wow, I thought, this feeling CAN move and transform!
still feeling big so big so uncomfortable
vocalized I want I want I want
I want to eat the whole world
I want to have sex with the whole world
I want to hug the whole world
I grabbed a small tree trunk suddenly with both hands
I punched with my fists slow motion in the air, mostly the right, it felt  natural and not forced
I put my hands on the ground, I stretched my back and legs
right scapula didn't hurt anymore
still uncomfortable, feeling too big
did a couple half handstands, downward dog
vocalized
desire desire in my belly, in my throat!
thought a therapist might say to yell, but I knew if I yelled it would hurt
so I made the noises that felt right and comfortable
low moan low rumbling
creating a vibration
not loud
that took away the sharpness of a wanting too big
made it more rounded, more tolerable, better
a few minutes more slow-mo punching (not forced) and moaning
thought I should wrap it up and go back to work
pressed my right fist against my left palm (winding down the intensity)
low rumbling moan, decreasing in volume as I approached the building door
the scapular pain is gone