Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Log 04/15/15

Practicing a lot in recent days. Practiced last night before bed, then this morning upon awakening, then again before getting dressed. Noting practice, trying to stay relaxed. Beth: "Each moment is an invitation to relax". Still, though, wishing to notice phenomena more crisply and thoroughly. I have doubt that noting only occasional phenomena will work.

I'm not remembering the details of each session as clearly as I used to 2-3 years ago. Here's what I remember from my early morning sitting: attention was not crisp. Thoughts kept arising. I was mostly physically comfortable. The thoughts were very enticing; they were plans for practice and also plans for other things, like seeing a movie on Saturday. The past few days I'd been trying to notice the nanas, but today I decided to let that go since it is a distraction. Lately I have been noting joy more and noticing the mind's response to look for a problem. My intention is not to explore this, but to simply note it. Because thoughts can be so engaging and distracting, I desire to stop the thoughts from developing by noticing and noting the tingling sensation ("tingling") that seems to give rise to the thought. I enjoy practicing this way but I imagine that Beth would not approve so I have some doubt about practicing this way.

Picked up Shaila's book "Wisdom Wide and Deep" and re-read the part about the nanas and also the introduction. I feel desire to attend her retreat next month. I want to gain skill in jhana.

Time to catch bus to work.

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