Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Why are eating noises irritating?

I'm irritated by the sounds of people eating. It can drive me to utter distraction. Why is this? It is not the nature of the bare sound. Sometimes I hear something that sounds like someone eating. If I learn that it is actually a bubbling fountain, the sound doesn't bother me at all.

Most of the time, there are enough other distractions that I do not get irritated. But if I am in an otherwise quiet place with someone else who is eating, especially if they are eating noisily, it can be unbearable.

Since I began meditating in the Theravadan tradition 13 years ago, I have studied this phenomenon diligently. I have studied it because I want to understand it and free myself from the suffering associated with it. Indeed, I do find this irritation to be much less a problem in my life now than I did 13 years ago. But I'm not sure it's because I've studied it. It may be because I am, in general, happier, with more sources of comfort.

I have a hypothesis about why eating sounds are irritating. I think they remind me of being very close to mother and hearing all of her sounds. This brings up a whole host of memories that are, together, disconcerting: the memory of feeling extremely content and safe, the memory of learning that I am a separate person, the memory of being utterly disappointed with mother. This hypothesis arises from self examination: I have developed enough mindfulness that I can get a sense for what is going on in my psyche when I hear others eat.

Eating noises go on and on. If it were a one-time sound, like a sneeze, it would be easy to tolerate. The memories would come up, the irritation would arise, the irritation would soon pass as the mind is drawn to other things. But because eating noises go on and on, the mind is trapped in these memories, and panic ensues.

Many people find these noises irritating. Some find it to be a very minor issue. Some, like myself, find it to be a major issue. I once had a housemate who, I suspect, created a myriad of excuses to not eat with the rest of the household because the irritation she felt was through the roof. Being this irritated by eating noises is not a generally accepted affliction, and so it is embarrassing to admit one has it, and embarrassing to ask others to accommodate it.

1 comment:

  1. Some days later I discovered that much has been written about this malady, and that it has a name: misophonia. It was gratifying to read descriptions of it that match my experience exactly, and it took away a bit of the shame.

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