Here is a quick spilling out of what's been happening in my life lately:
Six year old self began speaking out during therapy session a few weeks ago, but has been silent since. I want to know what happened to me when I was young.
For about the past 2 years, progress in psychotherapy has been steady and exciting.
When I pay attention to my experience and avoid suppressing, there is strong pleasure and excitement. What to do with it?
Body feels more and more like the ocean; I feel the strong pulsing of blood any time I am mindful of my body.
Growing intimacy with Z feels wonderful and out of control and unpredictable and scary and embarrassing, and I haven't talked about it with anyone besides Z and E and therapists and a little bit with J.
Recovering from prophylactic laparoscopic bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy on Dec. 23. I am done having menstrual periods and I can hardly believe it! For the past 8 days or so, have had wakefulness during the night and a few very mild hot flashes. So far, all is enjoyable. Also, though, dry eyes.
New job as of Dec. 1. Spent first week finishing up stuff from old job, and weeks 3 and 4 recovering at home from surgery, so I've really only been working in the new job for one month. There is a lot of settling down and shaking out going on with regard to what the work is and my relationships with my new co-workers. Feels unpredictable in a similar way to my relationship with Z.
Noticing gradual increase in confidence in all relationships. Less fear of anger/conflict. Helped by Z, who is not afraid to have heated discussions. Helped by progress in therapy. The best.
Working more and more with movement. Subtle movement. Most lately: noticing the constant tension in the front of the torso as I round my back and bring shoulders forward to protect. When I notice and release, so much emotion!
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