Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Anatta!

Last night I slept lightly, and shortly before 4:00, in a state between sleep and wakefulness, I observed my left arm reach to my face to rub or scratch an itch ... and it didn't feel like "I" was doing it! I don't recall having an experience quite like this before. It was surreal and a little freaky, but I also recognized it immediately as something very positive, and tried to embrace it rather than panic. I then sat up and meditated for 2 hours, a kind of dreamy, wandering observation of my experience. Usually "dreaminess" and "wandering" is discouraged in meditation, but in this case it seemed like the right way to go; this approach seemed to help quiet my analytic mind (though there certainly was a lot of chatter nevertheless). The not-self experience didn't repeat, but for a lot of the session I perceived sensations to be very fluid and changing, at times very beautiful.

Anatta is a Pali word which means something like "not-self", or the notion that the self is insubstantial, that there is no material thing or mental formation which could be said to be "mine". Don't quote me, I'm a total beginner on this stuff.

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