Delight and relief at being unemployed

I left my job, the one I'd held for 8.5 years, on January 13. I suffered a fair amount in that job. Pretty much every day since then I've experienced delight and relief at not having to go to that job anymore.

I've also gone over and over the numbers in my head and convinced myself that I really don't need earned income anymore. In other words, I could consider myself retired. Upon reaffirming this conclusion I have also experienced delight and relief.

Today, however, for the first time, I've noticed that the glow of my new situation is beginning to wear thin.

Experiencing this daily delight and relief over the past four months, I have tended to view it as a permanent state. Rationality tells me otherwise: all mental states are impermanent. In this case, although the facts that have delighted me (not having to go back to work at ISB, probably not needing to earn income ever again) have a good chance of sticking around, their newness will not stick around. And it's the newness, the contrast, that has been so delightful. Like falling in love, or recovering from a long illness. It is remarkable that, even so, the mind has clung to the fantasy of permanence.

Settling into this state of unemployment, of not needing to do anything in particular most days, I've watched myself expand the amount of time I spend on certain things that used to, of necessity, take only a small fraction of my time: cleaning house, cooking dinner, attending to finances, weeding the garden, attending to email. Spending time in bed with my partners. I've also watched myself become more sensitive to irritants in the home environment: the barky dog next door; the sounds of weed whackers, lawn mowers, and leaf blowers; sharing space with my partners 24/7 rather than being in a separate physical space 8-10 hours/day.

For the most part, the irritants haven't impinged on the overall sense of delight, and spending more time on mundane tasks has been enjoyable. This will, likely, gradually change.

Upon realizing that I didn't need to earn income, I put on hold the development of my new dementia care business, Team Emily. It might be soon time to begin developing it again. Perhaps toward the end of the summer.
teamemily.net