Below is a small fragment I wrote on December 30 but didn't publish.
Things I am noticing today:
A clinging to positive stories about myself: "Aren't I clever!" and perhaps a clinging to belief in self so as to retain those stories. A bit of fear that without those stories, there's a dark void.
Am I willing to let go of the positive stories so as to also be rid of the negative ("I'm no good")?
Asking: who is deciding whether to visit Rosemary at Mission Villa today?
A movie plays out in the mind, where there is a bearing down, rumination over some pros and cons, and then finally a saying to myself, "OK, I'll go! That's the right thing to do and I'll feel better about myself if I don't spend all day sitting around the house!"
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