A glimpse of an early loss

Did some trauma recovery work this morning while sitting in bed with Eric's arms around me. The main theme that presented itself was "I'm doing this wrong, I don't know what I'm doing, I should quit." So strong, so convincing! While allowing this, feeling into it, I re-experienced the desire for Mom's love, for the safety and comfort of her arms, and the utter confusion and despair of not being able to get that back. I re-experienced the feeling that Mom's love was a wonderful thing--a feeling that's been largely lost to me since at least adolescence.